Nash & Bruce

[Nash is upset because Bruce has slipped Tess the date rape drug]
Bruce: Came here to ask me a favor, and now you want to interfere with my love life?
Nash: This is your idea of a love life?


Nash: I thought lawyers -- that's you -- couldn't enter an abode without the master's invitation.
Bruce: Yeah, that only applies to vampires.
Nash: Ah, but apparently, not other varieties of blood-sucking parasites, much like the man in front of me now.


Bruce: You've still got me on retainer for whatever other legal problems might be looming on your horizon.
Nash: Yeah, see, I don't have any other legal problem looming on the horizon, Brucie.
Bruce: Yeah, well, history would indicate otherwise.
Nash: Hmm, well, history was then. This is now.
Bruce: Oh, "now" is your ongoing investigation into the secret life of your girlfriend -- which, I might add, I'm practically doing pro bono.
Nash: Practically, yeah.


Nash: (to Bruce) So, I'm sure you're very anxious to fly on back to your crypt, so if you just give me the papers, man --


Bruce: I only worry when I'm paid to, Nashville.
Nash: "Nashville."


Nash: I don't care what stories the Restons are spinning. I know what I'm guilty of, and I know what was done to me.
Bruce: Oh, okay. You're copping an "I'm the victim" plea here?


Bruce: Nash is back.
Nash: What do you want, Bruce?
Bruce: Where is the hot blonde?
Nash: I'm not talking to you about Tess.


[Nash is considering selling the Napa cottage]
Bruce: You and your girlfriend didn't do such a bad job with the place -- should get a decent price for it.
Nash: You can't put a decent price on a dream, Brucie.
Bruce: Ah, you always wake up anyway.


[Nash and Bruce have just fooled Mr. Reston into thinking they're enemies]
Nash: That was some performance. You missed your calling. You should've been an actor.
Bruce: You were pretty good yourself there, tough guy.


Bruce: (about Reston) You don't mean -- you're not actually planning on killing this guy?
Nash: Yeah, I am going to kill him, and so are you. We're going to kill him financially, we're going to destroy his family, because that's all he cares about -- his businesses and his daughter, and in that order. The only backbone he's got he pays for. You take away his businesses, you take away his bucks, you take away his power. What's with the look?
Bruce: Never saw you this way before, that's all. Not even when you were willing to do almost anything for your vineyard. Well, you were determined then. It's -- now it's like you're -- well, you're ruthless.
Nash: Reston wants to take me away from my family. The only way I know how to stop him is to destroy him, which means it's my life or his.


Bruce: Just so we're clear here, I signed on to ruin Reston. And I'm still onboard with that as long as I get a cut.
Nash: Oh, all right, you'll get your cut. Reston is already morally bankrupt, his bank account might as well follow.


Bruce: Nash.
Nash: You're late.
Bruce: Am I hearing right? Is that a complaint?
Nash: Sorry, I'm just --
Bruce: A damn ingrate is what you are.


Bruce: I didn’t have to agree to this, you know, not that I have yet. I mean, a kidnapping?
Nash: Can you help me or not?
Bruce: Are you nuts? Whoo. I can do anything -- for a price.


[After helping Nash kidnap Jessica and Brennan]
Nash: Hey, where are you going?
Bruce: I do have a law practice. I only moonlight as hired muscle.


Nash: Look, I appreciate everything you've done, but I don’t think I'll be needing your services anymore. Thanks, anyway.
Bruce: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, buddy. We've had some -- let’s call them interesting times.


Bruce: You, my friend, are a lucky man.
Nash: Well, I hope I will be.
Bruce: I mean, even if you don’t wind up with that wild and gorgeous Tess, you've always got that hot Claudia babe to fall back on, if you catch my meaning.
Nash: I don’t think I do.
Bruce: Now, it looks to me like any which way you fall, you're going to score, my man, especially now that Claudia’s inheriting all of daddy’s cha-ching -- did I just stutter? -- dough.
Nash: I'm not interested in Claudia’s cha-ching. There’s only one girl I'm interested in.
Bruce: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right, right. Okay. But don’t blame me when you wind up looking for a date to the prom without enough money to buy a corsage.


Bruce: If anybody calls you looking for me -- you know, snooping around, asking a lot of questions -- do me a favor and don’t give them anything.
Nash: You talking about law enforcement types of people?
Bruce: Just, you know, anybody -- black or white hats, doesn’t matter. It’s been real nice knowing you, Nash.


Jessica: So, that was Bruce.
Nash: Yeah, my attorney. Not the most ethical man in this world, but --


Jessica: (about Bruce) He’s slime.
Nash: He’s a lawyer. But it’s irrelevant.